History of Home Part I

I'm going to begin with my first home. I moved in when I was 2 years old and left at 18. I always had the same room closest to the entry with a window facing the street. It was big enough for my bed, an end table, a rocking chair and a dresser. Later after my grandparents died we had an excess of antique furniture so I added another dresser. Nothing has ever matched or made sense in there, and now I use every inch of it for storage. The closet is small and overflowing. I positioned my bed so that when I opened my eyes in the morning I could look straight into my closet. I'd lie motionless staring at my clothes and shoes until I knew exactly, from underwear to overcoat, what I would wear that day. As a lazy teenager, the few extra minutes of bedtime this ritual allowed me was crucial.



As a younger child I was scared of the dark. I would keep myself awake thinking about rapists and murderers and the Mexican mafia who chopped off a horse's head and left it on the neighbor's front porch--the neighbor is a district prosecutor. I always thought they would need a place to hurl the rest of the horse's body, so why not through the window around the corner. Since I literally envisioned a headless horse body crashing through my window, I obviously positioned my bed on the other side.

The moon would shine through that window so I kept the blinds open for light. I also kept my door open for an easy escape. There is a shadow that is cast on the wall to the right of my closet. It looks like a dove. My imagination would work me into such a terror that I would talk to this dove like it were a sign sent down from God. It was his way of telling me the angels really were surrounding me and protecting me, just like my mom said in our nightly prayers.

Our minds are vibrant when we're young. I lived in that room for 16 years and never got bored of it. I always found shapes in the paint splattered on my ceiling, just like looking at clouds and seeing a penguin. I didn't need high ceilings or hardwood to be happy. I'm going to find a picture of home to put up here.